top of page

The Heartache of Leaving: A Nanny’s Perspective

Being a nanny is more than just a job; it’s a deeply personal and emotional commitment. Nannies truly love the children they take care of, often giving 1000% of themselves to the families they work with. They become an integral part of the family, investing their time, energy, and heart into nurturing and supporting the children’s growth and development.

child with backpack and books with raised hand

The Heartache of Leaving: A Nanny’s Perspective

When a nanny makes the hard decision to leave, it’s not made lightly. Unlike many other professions, nannies are acutely aware of the emotional, psychological, and mental impact their departure can have on the children in their care. This knowledge makes the decision even more challenging. They weigh the potential consequences, considering how the children will cope with the change, and often agonize over the choice for a long time before finally deciding to move on.

A Nanny's Perspective: The Shock of Severed Ties

Conversely, it can be a profound shock when families decide to sever ties with a nanny. Nannies invest so much of themselves into their roles that the sudden end of their employment can feel like the rug being pulled out from under them. They’re not just losing a job; they’re losing a significant part of their daily life and the children they’ve grown to love. The uncertainty of what will happen to the children and how they will adjust to the change adds another layer of stress and heartache to leaving.

The Heartache of Leaving: Pain of Not Saying Goodbye

One of the hardest situations is when a family asks a nanny not to say goodbye to the child. This request is tough not only for the nanny but also for the children. Imagine being a young child and suddenly not seeing a beloved caregiver without any closure. The negative effects this can have on a child are profound. The nanny is left grappling with intense grief, unable to provide comfort or say a proper farewell to the children they have cared for so deeply.

Need for Grieving

Nannies need to have the opportunity to grieve their loss. However, since nannying is not easily understood by those outside the industry, finding a safe space to grieve can be difficult. Well-meaning friends and family often offer comments like, “It’s okay, you’ll find another family,” or “Don’t worry, they didn’t deserve you.” But the job loss isn’t what nannies are grieving; it’s the loss of the children, the routines, the connections, and the moments of comfort and support they provided.

Nannies worry about their former charges daily. They wonder how the children are doing, if they’re happy, if they’ve suffered from the sudden change, or if they’ve found someone new who will love them as much as they did. The bond formed with the children doesn’t simply disappear when the job ends. A nanny’s love remains, and they hope the children remember and treasure the time spent together, even if they’re young and memories fade.

Woman on a sofa looking away from the camera

The Lasting Impact

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of all of my previous nanny children. I constantly wonder what they are doing, how they are, and if they know how much I still care for them. The connections formed during my time with each family are deeply cherished and irreplaceable. While new opportunities may arise, the impact of these relationships lasts a lifetime.

The emotional journey of being a nanny involves profound love, dedication, and, at times, heart-wrenching separation. Nannies deserve understanding and compassion for their unique challenges, especially when it comes to saying goodbye. Their work is not just a job; it’s a labor of love that leaves an indelible mark on their lives and those of the children they care for. I would love to read your stories; please message me if you would like to share or comment below. Till next time

Hugs and smiles xo



bottom of page